Hi and welcome back. Happy Monday.
I'm looking at a bright green Lamborghini as I write this.
What would encourage someone to wrap their beautiful Lamborghini like that? I'm not so sure, but looks like they're having a good day. Got a nice sounding Lambo roar too.
I'm with Chloe right now too. We just got out of a workout class at Equinox, which I don't normally do, but it's fun to do a little couples workout once in a while and focus on your health together.
Today is also nice and sunny here in LA, dipping into November / LA winter.
Chloe and I were just talking about how hot it is. You really don't get much of a season-type energy in LA at all, but nonetheless, here we are in November, just enjoying the day.
The main topic I want to go into today is a specific concept from the well renowned book Reality Transurfing.
The topic is: decreasing importance of your desired aim.
Now, in a previous post (which I can link here if you want to check it out), I talked about how to surrender and let go of outcomes while still setting goals—and where to find the middle ground between the two.
And I think Reality Transurfing does a pretty decent job of highlighting how to actually integrate, ‘letting go’ vs ‘goal setting’.
So one of the core concepts of Reality Transurfing is this idea that when you do set the goals that you want in life, you shouldn't be so overly attached and so overly obsessive that your life needs to be a certain way.
Here's what I've found—and what Vadim Zeland describes in the book:
When you place excessive importance on something, you create an opposing force that simultaneously pushes it away.
It's like an energetic law of physics. The more crucially important something is to you, the more resistance you create around it. The harder it is to get that thing to happen.
This truth of reality can (and probably does) drive you crazy.
Let me give you a perfect example.
Let's say you're in a relationship and it becomes extremely important to you that your partner works out three or four days a week.
You start telling yourself this narrative: "My kids are going to look up to how my partner takes care of their health. If they don't exercise, they're going to age badly and I won't be attracted to them anymore. This is critical."
Now this may be true, and it may well be very important to you. However the MORE you focus on how important it is, remember, the heavier and harder it becomes.
So now, because you've placed so much importance on this, you become aggressive and forceful around the topic of working out.
You bring it up constantly. You make sly comments. You push.
And what happens?
Working out becomes this heavy, emotionally-charged thing for your partner.
It's no longer light or enjoyable - it's now associated with pressure, judgment, and conflict.
So ironically, the more important you make it, the less likely they are to actually want to work out.
You've created the exact opposite result of what you wanted.
That's the opposing force Zeland talks about.
So… what is the right thing to do? Here’s what I’ve found…
When you decrease something's importance, you stop hyper-fixating on perfection.
When something is crucially important to you, you zero in on every little thing that's wrong. You need it to be perfect, so you can't see anything but the flaws.
And when you let go of that excessive importance, you stop noticing the minor details that are off.
Instead, you focus on the overall positive things—the wave of good fortune, as Vadim Zeland calls it—that are actually occurring in your life.
So back to the workout example.
When you decrease the importance, you say, "Of course it's important to work out, but it's not the most important thing. The most important thing is that my partner loves me, I love them, and generally we have pretty good health. No one is ‘perfect’."
Now when you work out together, it becomes light and enjoyable.
And guess what happens?
Your partner actually enjoys the process more.
And because they enjoy it, it naturally becomes something you develop together over time - rather than this constricted, forced thing.
Another example…
Let's say you have a really big goal to make millions and millions of dollars every single year.
And it's so important and you're so down on yourself that you're not doing those numbers yet.
And in getting so down on yourself, you create this energy vortex of negativity around your self-image, which makes you very unattractive.
This negative self image repels people and opportunities that would get you to making millions. It will even have you making decisions out of fear and self doubt which will lead you to the path of misery…
On the flip side, imagine if you don't care so much about how much money you are currently making. Of course, you aspire to make a lot of money, but it's not that important how much you're making now, or ever really.
And you don't really allow that energy to create an opposing force around your self-worth.
Well, if your self-worth is not affected by your current income, then even the wealthiest person will be around you and notice that your income is just not even something that comes up in conversation because you don't tie it to self-worth.
And then, because of that, you're just a lot more persuasive and magnetic.
And of course, persuasion is a very key part of being able to make money, sell things, or raise money for whatever venture it is that you're working on…
Decreasing importance makes you non-needy, which puts you in a frequency of abundance.
You can apply this principle of decreasing importance to literally any area of your life.
So I really encourage you to try it out.
Now, with the 8AM app - which you can check out at 8amapp.com for $1 - I actually designed this technology years ago with decreasing importance in mind.
Most people when they recite affirmations or goals - they think about them in a way that's super intense.
And there's a lot of different goal-setting techniques where it's like you have to really forcefully say the goals out loud and place this hyper importance on them.
With the 8AM app, you set goals in a specific way and reinforce them passively.
The goals themselves are deeply aligned with what fires you up in life. But you're not obsessively thinking about them or forcing them.
You just listen to your master vision daily—before bed or when you wake up.
It becomes normal. Background. Not urgent.
The identity and the slide of reality you're stepping into, as Vadim Zeland would say, isn't treated as this hyper-important thing you desperately need.
It's just the track you're on.
And that's exactly why it works—and why thousands of people have shared success stories from using it.
Check it out at 8amapp.com.
Other updates.
I'm really excited. I have this giant content storm, mass propaganda machine that's primed and ready, and I'm excited for people to see it.
Of course, if you're reading this, you're like an OG, you know, true believer and reader and supporter of what I do.
But I'm excited to, expand this mission 10x, 100x.
Since the last time i’ve had a content team, I’ve matured my views / perspectives a lot and feel it’s the right time to really expand my message. We also have a super s3xy design language.
So you'll be seeing a lot more of me very soon.
That's my message for today. Hope you enjoyed!
I'll see you tomorrow.
- Arlin
ps - if you haven’t watched this yet, give it a listen. Lots of people enjoying it.
