The One Decision That Will Change Your Life

Let's get right to it. 

There’s really only one question you need to answer in your life.

Everything else is just noise, complications, distractions. 

The question is simple: Are you living your life trying to manipulate the moments in front of you so that they make you feel love, inspiration, passion, or happiness? Or are you using those very same moments to get rid of the reasons you “don’t” feel love, passion, and inspiration all the time?

These are two ENTIRELY different ways of living, and you can walk either path in the very same life from this moment forward after you read this.

It all comes down to what the Buddhists call intent—the core purpose that drives every action, every choice. 

Think about it. 

Are you out there, hustling every day, trying to arrange the circumstances of your life just right so that you can finally feel good? 

Or are you waking up each morning with the intent to face whatever comes your way, using each moment to clear out the inner blockages that prevent you from feeling good all the time, no matter what?

That’s the essence of life. It’s the ultimate question: Are you reacting to life, trying to bend it to your will, or are you using life to transcend yourself?

Here’s the thing: You could spend your whole life trying to make sure the right things happen or to avoid the wrong things from happening. 

You might think getting married, having kids, or making money will do the trick. 

Or maybe you think not getting married, not having kids, or renouncing material wealth will finally bring you peace. 

But no matter which path you choose, if you’re living your life based on the idea that you’re not okay and something outside of you has to change for you to be okay, then you’re living the same life as everyone else—just with a different set of rules.

This is deep, I know. 

But unless you get this, you’ll spend your whole life lost. 

L.

O.

S.

T.

Lost.

You might think that the details of how you go about this matter—the specific steps you take, the decisions you make. 

But at the end of the day, it all boils down to this: “Are you living your life in reaction to the part of you that feels not okay?”

You know that part of you I’m talking about—the part that’s always complaining, always worried, always feeling like something’s missing.

It’s that voice inside your head that says, “I’ll be okay if only this person stays with me,” or “I’ll be okay if only I solve this problem.” 

It’s the part of you that makes plans, strategizes, and manipulates just to avoid feeling bad. 

Are you with me? 

If you’re with me… DM me on instagram that you’re reading this…

Now, here’s where it gets really interesting. Hopes and dreams—they aren’t what you think they are. We’re taught that having hopes and dreams are spiritual, that it’s a positive thing. But what is hope, really? It’s just a thought that says, “I hope someday things will be the way I want them to be so I can feel okay.” And dreams? They’re just the same—a dream that someday you’ll have everything you want and won’t have to deal with any of the crap that’s bothering you now.

There’s nothing wrong with hopes and dreams, but let’s be honest: They’re just another way of saying you’re not okay with how things are right now. They’re just another way of reinforcing that fundamental belief that you’re not okay.

Here’s the truth—most people live their entire lives based on the idea that they’re not okay. 

They think, “Once I get this, I’ll be okay,” or “I’ve given up hope that I’ll ever get what I want, so I’ll just settle.” It doesn’t matter whether you’re an optimist, a pessimist, or a realist—if you start from the position that you’re not okay, you’re living a life of struggle.

But there’s another way to live.

Spirituality—real spirituality—is the opposite of that. 

It’s about understanding WHY you’re not okay.

And here’s where it gets tricky: The mind is so good at convincing you that it knows the answer. If you’re lonely, it tells you, “I need to find someone to be with.” But that’s not the real answer. That’s like saying, “My stomach hurts because I can’t find the Gas X.” 

No, your stomach hurts because something’s wrong with your gut, and finding the Gas X isn’t going to fix the underlying issue.

Loneliness is just a symptom, a signal that something deeper is going on. You’re lonely not because you haven’t found the right person, but because there’s something inside of you that isn’t okay, and you’re trying to cover it up by finding someone to fill that void.

The same goes for everything else.

If you’re not passionate about your job, it’s not because you’ve been there too long or need a new challenge. It’s because there’s something inside of you that’s not okay, and you’re looking for a quick fix.

So, what’s the alternative? The alternative is to stop living your life trying to make everything outside of you perfect. Instead, turn inward and ask yourself why you’re not okay. Start by noticing the feelings that arise inside of you—loneliness, fear, insecurity, embarrassment. Then ask yourself, “Why is this here? What’s really going on?”

If you actually take a moment to do this…

For example like right now… instead of speeding through this email like you do most of your life…

Just speed consuming this like a Tiktok “for you” page…

Please, give yourself a chance.

So - ask yourself, “Why is this uneasiness I’m feeling in me here? What’s really going on?”

You’ll quickly find that most of the time, these feelings aren’t even about what’s happening in the present moment. They’re echoes of the past, stored inside of you, triggered by something as simple as a smell or a word. Maybe you hear someone call out a name that reminds you of a painful experience, and suddenly your whole mood changes. But it’s not the present moment that’s making you feel this way—it’s the unresolved emotions you’ve stored inside of you.

This is why we store these things inside of us—because we couldn’t handle them when they first happened. And now, they’re still there, affecting our every thought, our every feeling, our every action. But here’s the thing: “You don’t have to live this way.”

You can start by working with yourself, by becoming aware of what’s really going on inside of you. If you find yourself feeling lonely, don’t run out to find someone to fix it. Sit with that feeling and ask yourself why it’s there. If you feel insecure, don’t try to cover it up with accomplishments or approval from others. Instead, look inside and ask yourself what’s causing that insecurity.

The real work of spirituality isn’t about meditation or chanting or following some set of rules. It’s about waking up to the fact that you’re the one who’s made this mess inside of you, and you’re the only one who can clean it up.

The first step is to stop storing everything that bothers you. It’s about learning to let go of the things that happen to you, so they don’t get stuck inside of you. Life is going to keep happening, moments are going to keep unfolding, and you can’t control most of it. 

But what you “can” control is how you respond. 

You can start living your life in a way that honors the moment in front of you, instead of reacting to it from a place of fear, desire, or insecurity. You can start seeing life as it is—a beautiful, unpredictable, and often chaotic experience that’s meant to be enjoyed, not controlled.

Imagine waking up each day, not with the goal of making everything perfect, but with the intent to appreciate whatever comes your way and actually enjoying it - despite what you previously constructed in your head of what you liked or didn’t like about things.

Imagine all the new possibilities that could come your way. Your life would immediately fill up with more rich experiences because you weren’t so closed in a box of your personal self.

Imagine using each moment as an opportunity to let go of the junk you’ve been carrying around inside you for years. That’s the essence of real spirituality—using life to free yourself from the burdens you’ve been carrying.

When you do this, something amazing happens. You start to feel a sense of love, joy, and peace that you never knew was possible. And the best part? This feeling isn’t dependent on anything outside of you. 

It’s always there, inside you, just waiting to be uncovered.

As you let go of the things that have been holding you back, you’ll find that life becomes a beautiful game. Each moment becomes an opportunity to express the love and light that’s inside you, to bring joy and beauty to the world around you.

And guess what? That’s when you start to truly live. 

You start to enjoy every moment, not because it’s perfect, but because you’re free from the need for it to be perfect. You start to interact with life from a place of wholeness, instead of a place of need. And that, my friends, is the key to a life of true happiness and fulfillment.

So, I’ll end this where I started: You have a choice. 

You can live your life trying to make everything perfect so that you can feel okay, or you can start letting go of the things that are making you feel not okay in the first place. 

The choice is yours. 

But know this—the moment you choose to let go, your life will change in ways you can’t even imagine.

Let’s keep exploring this together. 

Life is too precious to waste on anything less than living fully, freely, and joyfully.

Best,  

Arlin

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