Unconditional Gratitude: The Secret to True Freedom

What a beautiful day,

Hoping you are well as you read this…

As you walk the path of spiritual growth, you’ll encounter two words that carry enormous weight: “conditional” and “unconditional”. 

These are more than just terms—they define two completely different ways of living, two opposing realities that shape every aspect of our existence. 

Conditional love, conditional peace, conditional happiness… They all have their counterparts in the unconditional, and understanding this distinction is key to unlocking a life of true freedom.

Let’s start with conditional gratitude. 

Imagine a child in their terrible twos or threes—prone to tantrums and demands. Now, if you give this child exactly what they want during a tantrum, you’ll witness an overwhelming display of gratitude. They’ll shower you with love, with thankfulness, all because you met their demands. But if you don’t give them what they want, or if you give them something they don’t want, all that gratitude evaporates, replaced by anger, frustration, or worse. 

This is conditional gratitude—gratitude that is entirely dependent on getting what one wants.

Conditional gratitude is a reflection of how most of us live our lives. 

We’ve all been conditioned by our past experiences, and our gratitude—or lack thereof—is a direct result of whether the world aligns with our desires or not. We decide what we want, and if the universe complies, we’re grateful. If it doesn’t, we’re resentful, angry, or disappointed. It’s as simple as that.

But what if there was another way? What if you could experience gratitude, joy, and peace regardless of whether things go your way or not? That’s what unconditional gratitude is all about. 

Unconditional gratitude doesn’t rely on the external world matching our internal desires. It doesn’t hinge on getting what we want or avoiding what we don’t want. It’s a deep, abiding sense of thankfulness that arises simply from being alive, from existing in this extraordinary, unpredictable world.

This brings us to one of the deepest spiritual writings ever, “The Treatise on Faith Mind” by the third Zen patriarch. 

It begins with the words, “The great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences.” 

It goes on to say that “to set aside what you like from what you dislike is the disease of the mind.” 

This isn’t just mysticism; it’s practical wisdom. 

Conditional living is about likes and dislikes, about setting aside what you want from what you don’t. But who decided what you like and don’t like in the first place? Your mind did, based on past experiences. Your mind, like a computer, processes data—the data of your life experiences—and spits out preferences. But these preferences are not who you are; they are just the residue of past conditioning.

Now, this concept isn’t just theoretical; it plays out in real life all the time. Take my girlfriend, for instance. She has a deep discomfort around eating blueberries—or any fruit, really. Years ago, she had a bad experience with a piece of fruit, maybe a rotten apple covered in flies or something, and she decided then and there that she would never eat fruit again. To this day, she’s missing out on all the delicious and healthy benefits of fruit because of that single bad experience. The present moment isn’t the problem… the fruit isn’t the problem—the uneasiness she feels is a reaction to something long past, something stored inside that hasn’t been resolved. She’s a perfect example of how past conditioning can rob us of the joys available in the present.

Sorry Chloe, I love you. But, you should really eat some blueberries. They’re great.

Anyway,

Taking it to you now…

Let’s say you walk into a store and see an object that reminds you of a beloved memory from childhood. Can you think of one? You might feel an overwhelming sense of nostalgia and gratitude—it’s almost like a miracle. 

But if the same object reminds you of something painful, you might react with anger or sadness. The object hasn’t changed, only your conditioning of your mind has. It’s not the world that’s playing tricks on you; it’s your mind, steeped in its likes and dislikes, constantly manipulating your emotions based on past impressions.

This is the root of conditional living: you are a puppet to your past. 

Your mind and heart have been programmed by previous experiences, and they react accordingly. If the world matches your past positive experiences, you feel good; if it doesn’t, you feel bad. It’s as if your happiness, your well-being, your very sense of self, are all dangling by the strings of your past.

But here’s the good news: “There is another way to live.”

It’s called unconditional well-being. 

This is a state within you that is always okay, regardless of external circumstances. It’s not dependent on your past, your preferences, or even the behavior of others. This state is always happy, always filled with love, always inspired, and always uplifted. It’s what the yogis call the true self, the seat of consciousness, and it is unchanging.

Imagine living your life from this place. Every moment, no matter what’s happening outside, you’re okay. No more moods that swing wildly based on whether things go your way or not. No more chasing after things to feel better, or running away from things to avoid pain. You’re just… okay. 

That’s what unconditional well-being is, and it’s the ultimate goal of all spiritual practice.

The key to this state is to realize that you are not your mind, nor are you your heart. You are the one who is aware of these things. You are the consciousness that notices your thoughts, your emotions, your preferences, and your aversions. And this consciousness is unchanging, unconditional, and always present.

Unconditional gratitude arises naturally from this place. When you stop identifying with your conditioned mind and heart, you begin to feel a deep sense of gratitude for everything. You’re grateful for the simple fact that you are not your thoughts, that you don’t have to be a slave to your past. You’re grateful that you can experience love, joy, and peace regardless of what’s happening in the world around you.

You start to see the world differently. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, or what’s not going your way, you begin to appreciate what is. You look at the stars and feel awe at the vastness of the universe. You feel gratitude for the sun that warms the earth from 93 million miles away. You’re thankful for your body, for your mind, for the gift of life itself. This is unconditional gratitude—gratitude that isn’t dependent on getting what you want, but arises naturally from being in harmony with life as it is.

So, how do you achieve this state? The first step is to stop playing the conditional game. Stop trying to manipulate the world to fit your preferences. Stop chasing after things to make you happy. Instead, turn inward and reconnect with the source of unconditional love, peace, and joy that is always present within you. 

Meditation is a good start. So is the 8AM app… Hop in here.

Now - Understand that you don’t have to fight your mind or suppress your emotions. Just be aware of them, and realize that they are not who you are. You are the one who notices these things. You are the consciousness that experiences them but is not defined by them. 

Once you establish yourself in this place, your entire life changes. You stop reacting to the world and start responding from a place of deep peace and contentment. You stop seeing life as a series of problems to be solved and start seeing it as a beautiful dance to be enjoyed. Every moment becomes an opportunity to express the unconditional love and joy that you’ve found within yourself.

Unconditional gratitude is the natural outcome of living from this place. You’re grateful for everything, not because it matches your preferences, but because it is. You’re grateful for the challenges as well as the blessings, for the highs and the lows, for the light and the dark. You’re grateful for the simple fact of being alive, for the opportunity to experience this incredible, mysterious, ever-changing world.

So, the next time you find yourself reacting to something with anger, frustration, or disappointment, take a step back. Ask yourself, “Why am I feeling this way? What is really going on here?” You’ll find that most of the time, it’s not the world that’s the problem—it’s your past conditioning. 

And when you recognize this, you can begin to let go of the conditioned responses that have kept you trapped in the game of conditional living.

Remember, you don’t have to be a slave to your past. You don’t have to live your life based on likes and dislikes, on preferences and aversions. You have the power to transcend all of that and live from a place of unconditional love, peace, and gratitude.

This is the essence of spirituality. It’s not about following rules or rituals; it’s about waking up to who you really are—the unchanging, unconditional consciousness that is always present, always aware, and always free.

Om, peace, amen,

Arlin

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