Understanding *True* Love

Hi Everyone,

Arlin here.

Like everything else in this world, love is completely misunderstood.

We often think we understand it, but in reality, our grasp on love is superficial at best.

Love, in its truest form, belongs to someone who has finally understood what's going on here. The way we typically see love in human relationships is flawed. We think, “I’m lonely, you make me feel whole, come here.” or “I don’t feel great about myself, you’re hot, you make me feel important, come here.” or simply put "I'm not okay; you make me okay. Come here."

It's a pattern of seeking external validation to fill an internal void.

What does "I'm not okay" really mean? It means we don't feel the way we want to feel—we lack inspiration, passion, or a sense of being whole. When we're around certain people, we might feel better, more inspired, or even loved. But this isn't genuine love; it's dependency. We're essentially saying, "You make me feel the way I want to feel, so… I need you."

“I need you…” 🤔

Ponder that…

Inspiration can come in many forms. Sometimes, our minds quiet down, our energy flows, and we feel a surge of motivation.

Love, however, is unique.

It’s a specific energy that activates the heart, making it feel alive and connected. You can feel this connection not just with people, but with pets, places, or even inanimate objects. When the heart opens and energy flows from it, we call this feeling "love."

True (human based) love is rare but powerful. It's an energy exchange between hearts, an unspoken connection that doesn’t require physical closeness or constant interaction. It's a state of being where two people can just sit together and feel the energy flowing between them without saying a word.

However, because we don't fully understand love, we become possessive. We say things like, "I need you to behave a certain way so I can feel love." This is not love; it's control. Third chakra stuff. We then try to manipulate situations and people to maintain that feeling of love, leading to dissatisfaction when the external circumstances change - or when the person you love begins to feel controlled.

Perhaps you saw this with your parents growing up - your Dad forgets to take his shoes off when he gets in the house, and then your Mom lights up - “You idiot! I just paid $250 for the cleaners and now you’re tracking mud all over the place! Ugh!”

Love can either be the biggest trap or the greatest liberator.

It depends on whether we've freed the love from our personal needs and expectations. Real love has nothing to do with another person. It’s an internal experience that can come and go independently of external factors.

We often chase things that indirectly make us feel better, instead of understanding why our energy fluctuates. This leads to a cycle of seeking temporary highs and avoiding discomfort, without ever addressing the root cause.

The energy inside us can be high and flowing or blocked and stagnant. Most of the time, we block our own energy by holding onto past experiences. These blockages prevent us from experiencing the continuous flow of love and joy. To truly understand love, we need to release these blockages and let the energy flow freely.

In my own practice, every morning I meditate and observe my mind.

I notice the endless chatter and simply observe it, without getting involved. Then I try to trace back the chatter to the source, the heart…

Then i just sit with my heart, allowing it to be as is, not trying to fix it with my mind or any outside actions.

If you're interested in exploring these concepts further and supporting your own creativity, I invite you to join The 8AM App. Use the discount code ‘heart’ to get your first month for only $1.

Tomorrow at 8AM pst, 11am est we have our weekly kickoff call, and I’d love to see you there.

Let's embrace the power of presence and creativity together.

Best,

Arlin

PS - If these messages strike a chord, please share a scrnshot of your favorite parts on your IG story and tag me - I’m always eager to hear your feedback—DM me on Instagram - i read and respond to almost all DMs.